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a poet’s notebook

Poetry Thursday

Poetry Thursday  This week’s prompt was to attend a reading, which I planned to do (of sorts) but the car wouldn’t start. Water in the gas line.

So instead, let’s deconstruct yesterday’s Snapshot Poem, shall we?

It seemed fine when I first posted it, but then … a little help from PoetryEtc and others, and a reconsideration. Here’s the text:

i wish i could hold
your heart in my hands

open it
like a chrysanthemum

Hmmm.

  • the speaker wishes to be a heart surgeon?
  • the person the speaker is addressing has a heart that appears to be sharp & spiky, but is actually made of soft flower petals?
  • the poet meant to say:

i wish i could hold

your heart in my hands

open it

as a chrysanthemum opens

?

    • the speaker is confused
    • the poet is confused

    Just a reminder to myself: the poem must have some internal, and even real-world, logic to it. Metaphor is fine, but it needs to make sense.

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    4 responses to “Poetry Thursday”

    1. Mary Scriver Avatar
      Mary Scriver

      Sometimes the ones that don’t “fly” tell a person more than the ones that do. What I always worry about — and this is not a reference to this poem — is that my subconscious will show through! It’s an old croc (or “ol’ crock”) that is often pretty resentful or jealous or mocking. To say nothing of Freudian.
      Prairie Mary

      Reply
    2. Cathy Avatar
      Cathy

      I thought the poem was about letting love grow slowly instead of rushing it.Causing regret later on.
      Happy Thankgiving too!

      Reply
    3. Rethabile Avatar
      Rethabile

      I liked the pictorial poem.

      Reply
    4. Poet with a Day Job Avatar
      Poet with a Day Job

      I love this – the whole thing: I take this whole exchange as one big fat poem that makes me completely love it, from “i wish I could hold” right through to the last bullet point “the poet is confused.” It’s fabulous. I dare you to take another look and consider it from that angle…nice!

      Reply

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