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. . . even when it’s going well. Why does it hurt, or does it hurt only those who have been damaged? Some of us learn as children that love is pain. Surely this is an unnecessary lesson?
Of course, things sometimes go badly, or go badly at times. She dies, he cheats, they lie. At the beginning, that time of giddiness, that longing for/fear of intimacy that most of us do – that time of joy and doubt, elation and pain, worry and hope – this is a scary time.
It pulls the child up. She teeters on a thin wire. She tries to not look back, only ahead, only forward. But what is there? What will come next?
Will she fall? How badly will it hurt? She feels she is flying, but is aware that below is a rocky landscape she knows too well.
Today the sky is a pale, pale blue, and tomorrow we will be under “heat warning.” The world changes. Gnats are flying about in the garden, just visible in this morning light. The roses need deadheading. All domestic chores need doing. Even as we fly.
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