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we pass through the darkening

Wordle Poem Prompt

 

we pass through the darkening
so resistant, so remote
white sky, white ground, white paper

ice daggers hang from the eves
branches sketch indecipherable glyphs
across a pale sky  

thin china cups
gather light in their bowls
behind glass cabinet doors

afloat in deep winter
cold days, white days,
lengthening days

gripping the handle of time
it slices at an angle
that dangerous blade

& Cairo burns

 

 

BigTentPoetry      This week's prompt was to use one, or a few, or all of the above Wordle words in a poem. I printed it out to keep with me and think about. Then I doodled, and the doodle morphed into some kind of creature.

I think I like the doodle better than the poem. It's less mysterious.

 Critiques welcome.

12 responses to “we pass through the darkening”

  1. vivienne Blake Avatar
    vivienne Blake

    Your last line came as a shock, though it shouldn’t have done given the news saturation. This line brings a lightening of the spirit: “lengthening days”

    Reply
  2. Kate Fern Avatar
    Kate Fern

    I love what you’ve done with the prompt! lovely imagery ice daggers and the branches indecipherable glyphs. Also the cold wintry theme and then the shock of Cairo burning at the end.

    Reply
  3. Donna Vorreyer Avatar
    Donna Vorreyer

    I agree that the poem lulls us into a silenced natural world of winter and then wakes us up with the last line.

    Reply
  4. Linda Avatar
    Linda

    The poem does a wonderful job of evoking the cold and ice of winter.

    Reply
  5. Laurie Kolp Avatar
    Laurie Kolp

    Beautiful imagery! I love the mtsterious aura you have presented here.

    Reply
  6. Tumblewords Avatar
    Tumblewords

    Oh, and it does. Superb work.

    Reply
  7. Cathy Avatar
    Cathy

    Love the sharp edge on this poem. You were brilliant with the last line.
    Wrote the list of words down. Let’s see what I can come up.

    Reply
  8. Robin Avatar
    Robin

    All that white and ice and cold. Then Cairo burning. Wow.

    Reply
  9. barbara Avatar
    barbara

    I very much like the winter images.

    Reply
  10. Christopher Avatar
    Christopher

    This week is special I think. Everyone seems to rise up this week. You are superb and I especially like how you added your doodle. That’s my kind of art too, and years ago I got serious about it for a season.
    Your poem holds throughout. But don’t expect too much serious critique here. It’s a social site.
    Yes, Cairo burns.

    Reply
  11. Deb Avatar
    Deb

    I like the mystery. And the shock.

    Reply
  12. Victoria Avatar
    Victoria

    Clear word-painting of the present moment. You have many breath-taking images in here–and then the denouement!
    http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2011/02/04/life-plus-5-big-tent-poetry/

    Reply

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