What I’ll Never Tell You

drawing nude women and peonies
  

1

I did go out that summer day
with an old lover, into the mountains.
We had a meal by the river, then
lay together and made love
on the scratchy blanket.

2

Peonies make me think of you,
how they open, and open, unfolding
petal after petal, so lush, so brazen;
how we chased each other, room
to room, naked and ecstatic.

3

If you had asked, I would have
gone with you. I would have
left all rules behind, followed you,
led the way into that unknown
wilderness, that anarchy of desire. 

  

ReadWritePoemThis week's prompt was what i could never tell my mother.  I changed it just a bit.

16 responses to “What I’ll Never Tell You”

  1. I like the wild desire contained in this..the yearning..
    Mine is so mundane compared to this:
    stuff I never told you

  2. Interesting piece. It had me wondering if the listener had changed between the first two stanzas. Love the vivid descriptions 🙂

  3. Sharon, I really did like this poem. A frolic “into that unknown wilderness, that anarchy of desire.” That is one powerful statement. I have always enjoyed anarchy! Desire is such a personal and powerful emotion, maybe one of the most driven. This is a wonderful piece.

  4. Very cool and enchanting.
    One narrator, different settings. I like this a lot.

  5. Very astute! This began with each stanza speaking to a different lover.

  6. I must confess that recent developments in the political arena helped inspire this poem.

  7. this was a refreshing piece, on of the only other “rebellion” poems towards mother that i have read today, the other being mine. broken into beautiful stanzas that put me beside the river and torn between parental respect and a lover’s lust. -lawrence

  8. I like the structure so much. Brief glimpses and details keep it from being overly sentimental. If I were to pick a favorite, it must be the 2nd. Peonies = ecstatic.

  9. Love the image of the scratchy blanket!

  10. To me this has a feel of the Chinese poets about it. Perhaps it is the accompanying image, and also the beautiful selection of minimal detail. So much accomplished in a few words.

  11. I love how these pieces work together. I would love to see more of them.

  12. Like walking through a gallery of vivid scenes — wonderful.

  13. Beautiful poem. The “anarchy of desire” is powerful, and the peonies stanza is so sensual and full of looking back/yearning.

  14. I do like the Chinese poets, but was not conscious of their influence when I wrote this.

  15. Thanks, Dana — more stanza of this poem, or more poems like this? And if door number two, like this how?

  16. Thank you all for your comments!

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