of course, immediately i want a smoke
and feel the tiredness of body & mind
if i don't have more than ten notes in an afternoon
i feel all smudgy and inadequate
now i remember an email to be answered
a phone call to return, anything but
the empty page, the blank screen
dogs curled, disconsolate, at my side
longing for walks they still remember
weeks since they've had one, weeks
since this body has really moved
stepped into the real world past this door
the twice-widowed parakeet mourning in his cage
cat & kitten arguing territory upstairs
me watching the email counter, watching, watching
waiting for it to change, as if one more
one more email, possibly from an actual person
might lift my spirits, might make the day
but when it turns over, one more, it's just
a social network that i ignore, a virtual net-
work of virtual people, none of whom i know
the cats bring their fight downstairs,
agitating the dogs, cracking the silence
of this solitude
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