a poet’s notebook

Ask the Agony Cats

Ask the Agony Cats

Dear AgonyCats:

I am a 14 year old cat that lives with two small dogs.  I get along fine with them and we even all sleep on our person’s bed together.  My question is, why do these canines sniff under my tail whenever they get a chance?  I would never do that to them or any other animal.  It seems like an invasion of my privacy, as well as being rude and annoying.  What advice can you give me? 

Sincerely,


~ "Sitting Down"

Spike; an orange tabby cat
Spike says:

Dear Sitting Down:

These dogs are sniffing your butt because you’ve confused them. They
expect cats to run; you aren’t running. Remember, dogs are rather
stupid, and they don’t see well, so they rely
overmuch on their sense of smell. Also, they are quite capable of
forgetting what you smelled like last time.

If you aren’t a cat, they ask themselves, then what are you? And
they proceed to try to find out, in their own rude and clumsy way. Dogs just are rude and clumsy, don’t you think?

They never clean up after themselves — or even clean themselves, come to think of it. They’re loud and obnoxious, and they run in packs. Privacy? Hah! 

Next time this happens, remember that you are a Cat. Use your claws. That’s what they’re for.

I mean, really.

What do you expect?

 

Boo, a grey tabby cat
Boo says:

Dear Sitting Down:

They are just admiring your superior scent. Don’t let it bother you.

Actually, dogs can come in handy sometimes. For example, if you have
your own dogs, they can protect you from other dogs, who might not
appreciate your unique feline characteristics. No need to ruffle your
own fur when you have friendly canines to do it for you.

Also, you’ve already discovered that they can warm up a cold night. Sometimes they bring home interesting scraps of food (though they are not very fastidious; you must use caution about what you sample.)

It could be worse.

They could be chasing you.

cat and dog hugging

Want more critters? Try:


This is the second edition of Ask the AgonyCats; the first, which deals with a feline- human relationship problem, is here. "Sitting Down" may think she’s anonymous, but we happen to know that she is really Dulce, who lives with Niki and Leo and Gus:

Leo & Gus

We told you that there were exceptions to the anonymity guarantee… *


Ask the AgonyCats will appear at
unpredictable, feline intervals, depending on cat moods and the mailbox. If you
would like to solicit advice, send an email to:
askthecats
AT sbpoet DOT com
. Boo and/or Spike will be happy to respond. Maybe.

Both AgonyCats have a great deal of
experience in inter-species relationships, though they bring somewhat different
perspectives to the situations they encounter. Any problem submitted for their
consideration is assured of the utmost discretion, expertise, and
privacy.*  Feline correspondents will, of course, have priority.

*[Discretion and privacy are guaranteed, except that letters will be published
for the readers of this blog; and the readers of any excerpts published outside
of this blog; and any over-the-fence or under-the-sheets conversationalists. No
solution is guaranteed to be effective under any circumstance, and
AgonyCats accepts no liability for hurt
feelings, inadvertent or deliberately inflicted wounds, or any other damages
that may ensue from incorrectly or correctly implementing any suggestions
herein. Whatsoever. Etcetera.
]

,

7 responses to “Ask the Agony Cats”

  1. John B. Avatar

    I am greatly enjoying the AgonyCats posts. This one in particular gets at a crucial reason why I admire cats so much (though I certainly enjoy having my dog around): cats, being more solitary by nature, have a sense of propriety and modesty; dogs’ pack-like sensibilities and “pre-verbal” memories of their litter-mates’ butts being in their faces all the time prompts them to be a bit more, ahem, direct in their intelligence-gathering on the other members of the household. Not that I’m exactly refined myself, but that directness is a bit vulgar.
    Maybe you’ve explained it elsewhere, so pardons in advance, but: why “AgonyCats”?

  2. Modulator Avatar

    Friday Ark #155

    We’ll post links to sites that have Friday (plus or minus a few days) photos of their chosen animals (photoshops at our discretion and humans only in supporting roles). Watch the Exception category for rocks, beer, coffee cups, and….? Visit all the b…

  3. SB Avatar

    Ah, my age is leaking.
    From Wikipedia — Agony Aunt:
    An advice column is a column at a magazine or newspaper written by an advice columnist (colloquially known as an agony aunt, or agony uncle if the columnist is a male). The image presented was originally of an older woman providing comforting advice and maternal wisdom, hence the name “aunt”.

  4. John B. Avatar

    Thank you. I hadn’t heard that term before, but it matches up nicely with what (little) I know about the emergence of advice columns around the beginning of the 20th century.

  5. Kashim & Othello Avatar

    Bad Kitty Cat Festival Of Chaos No.9 – WeLcOmE !!

  6. Kashim & Othello Avatar

    Bad Kitty Cat Festival Of Chaos No.9 – WeLcOmE !!

  7. Mind of Mog Avatar

    Carnival of the Cats #181

    Its time for another Carnival of the Cats brought to you by the most adoptable Mr Chew, Mr Pee and Ms Slut all of who have to go.
    Im an angel and you know it.
    What do orange spots, Q-tips and biscuits have in common.
    Miss L…

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