I’m in the process of reviewing my internet
commitments, as I try to focus my energy on what is most helpful and
rewarding, and reduce the clutter that appears every time I sign on to
my ‘start page’ (Netvibes,
at present.) I have, at one time or another, joined almost everything
that’s out there. Initially, this was due to my excitement about the
whole new internet experience; a desire to try it all. 

Later, a bit of territoriality came into play, when I discovered that someone on MySpace was using the sbpoet handle. Yikes! [Hmmm– she seems to be gone. Not only that, but I seem to be on there twice.] I discovered this when I tried to open an account, at the urging of Goddess Daughter, who loves it there. I became sb_poet, but I hate it there. Too much everything — noise, flash, ads, jittery movement. MySpace is definitely not designed to become my space. Also, I just didn’t get it; I couldn’t figure out what it was for.

I joined Facebook some time ago, when the poetry board I sometimes posted to — MiPoesias (MiPo’s
Cafe Cafe) — moved there. I tried, but again, I just didn’t get it.
Couldn’t really figure out how to use it; didn’t see the advantages. I
missed the board, but faded anyway.

I’ve also, over the past 3 1/2 years, joined Tribes, and Orkut, and Gather, and a few others I can’t think of at the moment. Which says it all, I expect. Tried Vox, and Xanga. None of them kept my interest, though I could see that some (especially Vox) would suit a lot of people quite well.

Speaking of which, there’s The Well,
which is quite a different thing. I’ve not been there in these past few
silent months, but I’d not give it up. The Well is not free; there’s a
monthly fee, and the level of discussion in the conferences I like
requires attention and energy. It’s not your typical social network. In
fact, I don’t think it qualifies as that; it’s more a conversation
network.

Flickr
is the only social network that caught, and kept, me. I joined when it
was still shiny-new, small enough to really feel like you got to know
people. Then, photos were shared through a kind of instant-messaging
function, in chat rooms. People where welcoming, helpful, and kind —
several are still at the top of myinternet friends list. The service
got better and better, and it’s centered on an actual shared activity
and interest — while other ‘networks’ seem to be about ‘networking’;
not a high priority for me just now. Shouldn’t you be networking about something?

Of course, Facebook,
from the beginning, was about something — it was for students, who
already shared a campus, to play together — in private. Now it’s open
for non-students to join, but it has kept its privacy features. You can
set your profile to be more, or less, visible, according to
relationship. I think this function could be better, but more about
that later.

So when E. (probably Niece is the closest to describing this relationship) told me she is on Facebook,
and then Goddess Daughter (M.) joined, too — I went back. The service
itself has changed — lots of new features. And now I get it. I sign
on, and there they are. I can write on their walls, I can send them
private messages — or instant messages, if they are online, too. Now I
get the difference between a discussion board and a wall, so I can post to MiPoesis again. And some of those poets might be willing to be my friend, and share pokes and gifts and notes and twitters.

I can have LastFM and Pandora at the same place. I can pull in my flickr photos, and posts from here — this one will show up there soon. With a little app called Blog Friends,
I can see the headlines from my Facebook friends’ blogs. There are
hundreds — probably thousands — of Facebook apps. Play, play, play.

So I’ve spent much of the past week settling into Facebook; then I find this:

.
. . What was particularly sad about this weekend’s lovefest, though, is
that the subject was about Facebook but didn’t reflect the real story
that was going around: the bias and bigotry in Facebook against older
people.

I didn’t last on Facebook enough to see it’s ugly face. I found out about such through Ronnie Bennett, odd time signature, and Freydblog. What they found was an undercurrent of hatred against older people, manifested in groups like the following . . .

These
posts — which identify 50 hate groups on Facebook — not racist, or
sexist, but ageist to the extreme — are distressing, and persuasive.
Facebook
appears to be tolerating this. Can I participate in a service that not
only hosts, but apparently condones by inaction, attitudes that  are
not only offensive to me, but personally threatening?

Well,
maybe. I’ve spent my life in a world full of hate, some of it directed
at me. Female. Fat. Too damn smart. Loves the wrong people — wrong
race, wrong sexual orientation, just wrong. Are there places — are
there services — safe from this infection?

I doubt it.

Then there’s this (requires flash) sent to me by an internet
friend who probably would wish to remain anonymous. This presents
serious concerns about privacy, data mining, copyright, and connections
to conservative funding. Of course, I can’t vouch for its accuracy, but
it’s worrying.

So what am I going to do?

I’m not sure
yet. In life, I can choose to avoid as much as possible (the opposite
of my earlier strategy) settings that distress me. On Facebook, I can
avoid the groups that offend me, and report those I come across. Will
an elder boycott of Facebook accomplish — anything? 

So,
on one side, potential pleasure — even soul-food — of regular, easy
contact with some of those I love, and some I like; and participation
in a poetry group that I respect. On the other, consistency with my
principles.

I usually opt for principle.

I’m not so sure this time.