WATERMARK

Photo by Alan Parker ~ click for larger image

I’ve been thinking about this, having been visited lately by uplifting friends, and being more structured than usual in my introversion due to the Artist’s Way exercises.

I know I am not alone in my history of relationships that push down.
When you hear that voice on your answering machine, does your heart
lift, or does it clench with dreadful love? Is that pleasure, or
anxiety? Duty, or anticipation?

Not, mind you, that I think duty is a bad thing. There is
satisfaction in doing one’s duty; it is a good thing to meet
obligations with a full heart. But there is also a time that the heart
drains — notice that. Rectify it.

I speak to myself, here.

Why do I — why do we? — deny ourselves that which lifts us up? For me, on that very long list, is:

• music
• swimming
• being outside
• reading poems
• long baths
• massage ($)
• silence
• drawing
• people

And it goes on. Some, of course, illness discourages — but does not deny.

What is it, asks one friend, that makes some connections so unique,
so deep, so — soulful? It is these that make me wonder, perhaps there
is something more than we can see; something beyond measurement.
Something that brings this person into my life, and keeps him here,
despite long absences. Something that brings me into her life, and
keeps me there, despite long distances.

Something like miracles (thank you, Erin!)